No fancy writing here. Just my honest recollections of a great extended weekend: Wednesday September 22nd, 1999 to Sunday September 26th, 1999.

Enjoy - Fox

"We're gonna win big time!!!"

Hustling through the airport to catch our flight, being a little perturbed at all the broken up-escalators, and already under the influence of hanging out with college buddies, I began to colorfully proclaim my opinion of the airport maintenance crew - Andy shushed me for my uncharacteristic foul language, pointing out that I was embarrassing grandmothers meeting with their grandchildren. Called on the carpet for foul language by Mr. Umpire with Mr. Bleep himself looking on amused!

Hmm - "keep head down" ... OK, that's enough.

Catch up with Hans at the gate and we all board on time. On the plane Andy shares a blackjack book and several gambling related newsletters. He had told Gabes earlier that he felt like he was preparing for this trip his entire life. (He later confesses he was like a player who pulls a hammy in the first quarter of the big game and has to sit out - he was first hit with a bout of bustitis and later hit with some kind of flu bug). Meanwhile, I lend Andy a book on golf - Davis Love III's great tribute to his father "Every shot I take"- which he studies for about 3 minutes before turning to the movie channel. Friday proves he should have spent a little longer with the book!        
                                                                    

The Mirage Hotel and Casino

Arrive in Vegas, the real city that never sleeps, and get to the hotel about midnight. Meet the Danza crew and Mags and Sobo during check-in at the Mirage. Hit the Lagoon Saloon and the bj and crap tables until about 4 am. I join Gabes, Albert, and Sobo at a craps table to learn a game I didn't know much about. Now I do. Its simple. Just keep rolling the dice, yell "bring it home to momma" or "who loves your daddy" or any other nonsensical statement, throw money on the table after each roll, and most important - don't roll any sevens. Do all this and you will be rewarded as you collect huge mounds of chips and Gabes plants wet sloppy kisses on you all night long. Apparently I was a hit this night, with a 20 minute turn that Gabes and Albert both enjoyed. Frankly, I believe I saved their butts for the evening. By Friday I had learned the game and was lucky enough to ride along on an even hotter streak by Hans.

The Lagoon Saloon

BIG buffet breakfast. Thought about stealing some cookies for lunch but decided the crew I was dining with was too classy for that kind of stuff. Time to start "living large". While several of the boys warmed up for the next day's tournament by enjoying a free round of golf, courtesy of one of Hans' contacts, I walked over to Caesar's and experienced the Race for Atlantis with Gabes, Andy, and Mags - this world's only IMAX 3D motion simulator ride. Gabes almost lost breakfast and the rest of us hooted and hollered as we beat King Neptune and saved Atlantis.

Ready for the Race to Atlantis

We spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon wandering around several opulent casinos. Quite incredible - they do a good job of making you feel like money is no problem, go ahead and throw it away, what difference does it make amid all this luxury and splendor - but we are too smart (other words come to mind) for that as we successfully get our refund from the bogus 3D ride we mistakenly bought.

The Bellugio

The outing includes a look at several major casinos, and their sports books and lobbies, plus a walk on the other side of the street, visiting the two-bit casinos that remind me of the Las Vegas I visited 25 years ago. Not as splendid - gaudier and noisier - but featuring $2 tables and 2-deck shoes, so there are advantages.

Back to the Mirage ... it was in fact the nicest casino/hotel of them all as we kept discovering and kept returning home - great job scouting the hotel options by Captain Bustottathon.

A swim in a great pool, including a waterfall massage, is followed by hanging around the pool for a few drinks served by the lovely, energetic Shannon. Life is very good.

Very nice dinner with the whole crew, just across the street - kudos to Hans for scouting this one out. The photos below speak for themselves:

Dinner on Thursday

And how about those Danza women! Not only are we escorted to dinner by two of the sharpest women in the town, but they have great attitudes towards gambling ... Do you like to gamble Christine? "I like to watch Mikey gamble"  ... Florence? "I'll play the slots a little but I'll leave the big gambling to Albert."  And here they are (P.S. I agree with Sobo - its hard at first to call Al's brother-in-law "Mikey" seeing how big he is, but he does quickly put you at ease with it):

The "Danza" crew

Another late night at the tables. Bed at 3:30?

Pauite Golf Club

Golf day. Prep has arrived and the group is complete. A little gambling in the morning then out to Pauite where we are challenged mightily - seems they are reseeding the tee boxes and we will therefore be playing from the blacks all day. Using the entire course, and some of the desert to boot. A challenging course in any case - narrow fairways, not much rough and then the ball-eating desert. The black tees made for several scary, 180-yards-to-get-across-the- hazard, tees, and all the par threes were at least 195 yards. I play well enough, but think I can do better. I play with Al, Hans, and Gabes. By the eighteenth Gabes is talkin like a sailor and throwing golf balls right and left into the desert. But he held onto Bertha. I've played with Albert before and always learn a little but this round Hans was the master and from him I learn the value of steady smart play as he easily takes both Cyberzahm trophies. Speaking of smart play, on the 13th I'm goaded by Albert's challenge to hit a far off bunker and I try to kill the ball. Stupid play. The ball moves ahead about 20 yards to the next tee box. OK, I'll show em, and I pull out my 3 wood that I almost never use ... whack, it takes a right turn and goes about 50 yards into the desert. I decide to give it a go and trudge out there with my three wood in tow. The ball is sitting in the clear but on a hard surface, with lots of rocks around ... Whack - Spoing, I thought for a second I broke my club but the ball takes off, hits a boulder about 30 yards away and takes another sharp right turn, even further into the desert. I trudge after it, three wood still in tow since its now a two-day hike back to the cart to select a more reasonable club, and try once again - finally hit a solid three wood, clear to the other side of the fairway. In the end, I take an eleven on the hole but I did see the ball all the way into the bottom of the cup and it was the only hole I have to use the snowman rule on.

So what else did I learn? Don't kill the ball. Swing smooth. Don't get perturbed. Play with confidence - I think too many times I was swinging scared - concentrating on not making a bad shot instead of on making a good shot. One thing for sure ... the courses I play in PA are gonna appear real friendly for awhile -->

The entire golf crew is shown below ... we're still not sure where Mags spent the day ...

From left to right: Kevin (Prep's friend), Fox, Sobo, Hans, Andy, Prep, Gabes, Al

Kudos to Sobo for a great golf organizational job all around (except for the tour of Nevada on the way to the course!). He stays organized to the very end, as he displays the final tallies, although he does look surprised that he managed to finish second! We enjoy a few beers and some appetizers in the club house, with Hans treating as he quickly invests his winnings in comradeship ... another classy move ... he earlier had presented everybody with a collector's sleeve of balls.

Dinner that night was wonderful, at least for the company. It was a little crowded at the table but the excellent wine helped us not notice. Mags did a "beeeooootiful" job with the wine list and it was a classy move by DD to treat us from afar. That’s the best thing about trips like this and CyberZahm in general - all the classy people. But, a couple things about these Italian dinners - do they really have to take 3 hours? Do you have to be stuffed by the time the main course arrives? Its not like that back home at Pizza Hut.

We pile into several taxis and head for Bellagio, where the "hot spots" are. But its crowded, the hot spots make us look like old farts, and Andy has left his expensive camera back at the restaurant. So Gabes, Mags, Andy and Me, the same crew that tackled Atlantis, take on our third taxi driver for the night. Each has been interesting so far, mostly for the shrewd football analysis they provide for it seems that every one of them has a sure-fire NCAA lock for the next day. The one guy talked most of us into betting on Rice - sure sounded good at the time. Anyway, they have all been interesting, partly because Andy is chatting with them and drawing them out as only Andy can - but this last guy is legendary. The ride has been chronicled elsewhere - we learned about his bleeping job driving a taxi, and his former bleeping job as a barber, and his girlfriend’s bleeping problems, and the interesting things that he’s seen in the back seat of his cab. By the time we retrieve the camera and are back at the Mirage our sides are aching from laughing and Gabes is worried about his heart, gasping that "the big one is coming".

To tell you the truth the night is now a blur. I know we rode in cabs from one place to another and I know we kept changing our minds about where we wanted to be … I remember at one point walking with Mags as the crew had yet again decided that the best place to be was the Mirage and we should head back there - Mags looked over at me, chuckling, and said something like "Geez Fox - do any of these guys have a clue - and these guys are running companies and shit - they are Captains of Industry!". As John would say "Imagine that".

I think it was this night that Hans had the hot hand at the craps table and Gabes and I went along for the ride. Now that was fun. The funny part of this craps thing is that the biggest winner isn't necessarily the shooter. Its whoever is betting the heaviest when the shooter gets hot. In this case it was Gabes. Of course, that rule works both ways, doesn't it.

Got a few football bets down before a little more blackjack and to bed early - 3 am?

The Spa

Based on everyone's recommendation, I started my day at the spa and it was as good as claimed. There's nothing like being handed a cool wet towel to drape over your head in a hot sauna, followed by the glass of orange juice you ordered from the attendant, then heading to the whirlpool to discuss football picks - meanwhile some games have already started, one of the benefits of being in the western time zone, and you can watch them in the "living room" while drinking coffee and eating fruit.

Today I feel the end of the trip hanging over me and I want to do it all - and I almost managed it! First off, I was red-hot picking football games. I started out picking four games Friday night, $40 a shot. I was leading all four at halftime Saturday so I placed four more wagers on the early afternoon games. We wandered over to Caesar’s Sports Book, to render under them what is theirs, and I got to experience one of somebody’s official list of "top 100 sports experiences - being on the winning side of a close game at Caesar’s Sports Book in Las Vegas." I had taken the points against Penn State and it was exciting as they drove down the field in the closing minutes for the score that would have beat the point spread (otherwise meaningless) as myself and half the casino groaned and Gary led the other half in cheering - but Paterno came through for me and with 8 seconds left allowed the clock to run out with the Lions on the two yard line. So I was 4-0. Toured a few casinos and some shopping areas (including "Venice" which I hadn’t been to before - wow!), enjoyed all the wonderful talent walking around, grabbed a beer here and there, tracked my football games every chance I got, and in general just had a great early afternoon.

The Pool

Joined the boys at the pool and enjoyed a huge Pina Colada - was Shannon there on Saturday or was that Friday only? Another nice swim.

Pontificated, just a little, about college football wagering, seeing how I had just won my four early afternoon games. I was now 8-0! That’s tough to do. As Gabes said - "Fox, you’re starting to scare me."

8-0. If you assume you have a 50-50 chance at each game the odds are 256 to 1 against going 8-0. I had wagered $40 on each game - if I had taken that $320 and wagered it on the eight games at once in a "parley" the payoff would have been $64,000. Now that would have been fun! But nevermind, being 8-0 was fun enough. My apologies to all if I was a little obnoxious - inviting everybody to a gambling seminar that evening for example - I think you all know it was tongue in cheek. I knew as well as everyone how much luck was involved but had to run with the ball when given the chance. Now let's see … what games did those cabbies like? Popped away from the pool long enough to get down 7 more bets, 5 football games and 2 baseball games. Crash, burn, the balance of chance is restored. Seminar cancelled. I end the day 9-6. Should I have quit when I was ahead? Should Lancelot have stopped after a quick feel of Guineverean mammary? Should Napoleon have been content with just ruling France? Should Gerry Faust have remained the dean of high school coaches? Well, who knows and who cares - but I was glad I kept my hand in (and I figure at least Lancelot was glad he kept his in too); it was great fun all day and I did turn a small profit. If only I hadn’t listened to those cabbies - if they were so smart what are they doing driving cabs?!

Saturday afternoon Andy and I continued our discussion about Warren Beatty and Dobie Gillis. We had a small difference of opinion concerning Beatty's possible association with that classic program - leading to a small wager - leading to another small disagreement concerning the specifics of the wager. We even continued this interesting discussion through email after returning home - REVIEW OUR DISCUSSION HERE and you decide who was right and who was wrong? ... or were we both right? or both wrong? Hmmm ... this requires some deep thinking. While you are at it - check out the Dobie Gillis web site: CAN YOU FIND INFO ABOUT WARREN BEATTY HERE?.

More wandering around, drinking, in the late afternoon early evening. I remember being back at Caesar’s to watch four losing football games at once and being treated by some college kids to a few rounds of beers in commiseration. I remember visiting the smaller casinos on the other side of the street - I think with Andy. But the memories are all hazy for some reason.

Amazingly enough, all the Zahmbies (except Albert?) managed to find each other in the Mirage in the early evening. Hans had arranged a private blackjack table for us. We played for about two hours as a group. Prep kibitzed, while periodically taking a shot at the video poker machines behind us. Had a lot of fun with the dealers. I think most of us won, except maybe Andy. I think Gabes did very well. We then share a "comped" dinner at the Casino’s popular pizza restaurant - that’s the first time I’ve ever had anything comped at a casino, high roller that I am. Living large. Life is great.

Wanted to pull an all nighter but run outta steam. Bed about 3 again. Can’t believe I fall so quickly to sleep.

Up early. See ya roomie. We never did have to use the "towel on the doorknob" signal did we?

Check my bags out front and head to the BJ tables one more time. Thanks to Hans’ hot roll and a few other lucky breaks I’m ahead for the trip so its time to increase the wager … $50 a shot, a lot to wager for a poor educator from the backwoods of Pennsylvania - win, lose, lose, win, lose, lose - shit, let’s get outta here. Wait, that dealer’s sort of cute ... $50 wager. Win. Let it ride. My eleven vs her 5? Gotta double down. So now I have 2 Franklins riding on the next few cards. I draw a nine to give me 20. She busts. Come to poppa. Now its time to go.

One last memory. The pilot was a golf fan and kept us up-to-date on the US’s amazing comeback Ryder Cup victory during the flight home. A neat way to end a great week.

What a fantastic five days. Definitely one for the books. Don't really know how to describe how great it was - so I'll just say "Thanks" to everybody.