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LMS XVII: Week 9 - Tea Party Activists Meet Muscatel Party Realists

Posted: 2010-11-04

The votes are in. Despite protesting Tea Party animal efforts to gain control of the cages, the animals continued to show their support for THE ZOOKEEPER as the only stimulus source they need. With 6794 out of 6805 precincts reporting, the efforts to take control of the cages ...

...of THE WORLD’S GREATEST FOOTBALL POOL have reached the half way mark of this year’s campaign. 1021 would-be FOOTBALL GENIUSES could care less about Mitch McConnell and whatever lame agenda he may think he has as they continue to lead the polls with a focus on the only agenda that really matters – just wins, baby, wins.

While 5784 of their fellow Muscatel Party hopefuls have been swept away in a wave of anger and frustration as deep as John Boehner’s tan, exit polls showed that the majority of the 790 CHEFS, who barely beat back a wobbly kick challenge from the Buffalo Bills in overtime in WEEK EIGHT, now join a weakened coalition of centrist selectors with little remaining confidence in their immediate plans for economic growth. Jets and Cowboy backers were left to wonder why their firm base of superior football intellect turned out to have as much stability as a Haliburton recipe for cement, but the results clearly left no doubt as to their finish in this year’s race – tied for second place with the rest of the overwhelming 85% majority.

THE VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER will continue to host the national debate forward on this necessary journey into football immortality as November’s now frost filled mornings remind the animals that building winter storms still lie in wait for conservatives, liberals, independents, rightists, leftists, centrists, mainstreamers and shunpikers alike. Why? THE ZOOKEEPER and Jimmy McMillan know why. Because the cages are still too damn high.

And now for this week’s projections:

5773 OUT, 1021 IN, 11 DQ’D. 428 FALCONS, 221 VIKINGS, 105 J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS, 64 NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS, 55 SAINTS, 44 PACKERS (from the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field), 43 PATRIOTS, 22 MIGHTY MIGHTY STEELERS, 12 RAYDAHS, 11 BEARS, 4 COLTS, 4 TEXANS, 3 BILLS (I don’t make this stuff up), 2 EGGLES,and 3 lone wolf selections with 1 CARDINAL, 1 RAVEN, and 1 LIGHTNING BOLT.

PICK OF THE WEEK HONORS goes to ……..JOSHI - 1 taking the 8 point road dog Cardinals in Minnesota. For the record, JOSHI – 1 thinks that Zenyatta will finish dead last this weekend. JOSHI – 2 and JOSHI – 3 were finished by WEEK TWO. JOSHI has Christine O’Donnell and Sarah Palin pinup pictures in his bedroom. Honorable mention goes to WEST (Chargers) and BLACK TECHNO (Ravens).

That’s all for this week, animals. The Irish get a week off to regroup and prepare for their season ending bowl selection run. R.I.P. to Ginny Sacramoni, Ted Sorensen, Sparky, Dano, and the GTO. Peace. Out.