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Blue Gray Sky

LMS XVI: Week Twelve - The Animals Take Thanksgiving Pause in Their Cages

Posted: 2009-11-27

Happy Thanksgiving Day wishes to all. THE ZOOKEEPER gives thanks to all 6,692 animals who have elected to participate in THE WORLD'S GREATEST FOOTBALL POOL this year. Each Thanksgiving week he likes to list the places, faces, and efforts that have benefitted by your participation. That list will follow below. Clueless, stubborn, arrogant, dopey, crude, ignorant, and infantile beasts that you are ...

... in collective mass it must be acknowledged that you do form a mighty humanitarian force otherwise unimaginable. Without you, LMS would never have gone viral as it has. For the aspiring football genius in you all, THE ZOOKEEPER is most thankful.

And most special thanks goes to the SPONSORS who help slap you into your cages each week and make this thing happen. They are the ones who anonymously fight the front line battle with you beasts and who labor to deal with the less domestically trained of you every week. While you play Susan Boyle recordings and dream your dream, it is these true WORLD'S GREATEST FOOTBALL CHAMPIONS who absorb your rogue tweets and fend off your stubborn refusals to get caged on time and check your picks - the only two things asked of you - while you pokey into your cages like 23 year coma patients. Yes, they deserve much thanks for their roles in dealing with you animals and making this thing happen. To them THE ZOOKEEPER raises a glass of Muscatel this day. Or perhaps two. Or more.

Much like the Wampanoag people wondered about those strange people with the funny clothes and hats, many wonder this time of year how THE ZOOKEEPER came to be the keeper of the cages and how this whole thing got started. Some say that it was the result of a judicial sentence handed down by a crooked judge in some Louisiana Parish, after a bar fight over an alleged slur of Sebastian Cabot's thespian talents left glass shards from a gallon Muscatel jug and a dead Cajun man on the floor of a brothel outside of New Orleans. If this is true, no record of such case has been shown to exist.

Still others claim that he just wandered down to the river one day with a box of government cheese and a case of Muscatel and just settled into an abandoned van while the animals started to appear like rats in Hamlin town and they continued to populate the cages he set out.

No one knows for sure, yet we give thanks for his numbers each week:

5567 OUT. 1111 IN. 14 DQ'D. 438 BENGALS, 276 COWBOYS (hope they don't spoil dinner for you), 135 FALCONS, 108 LIGHTNING BOLTS, 82 PACKERS from the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, 56 EGGLES, 7 DOLPHINS, 6 VIKINGS, 3 COLTS, and one lone wolf CARDINAL.

PICK OF THE WEEK HONORS goes to BB BOGOTA riding those Cardinals, a 3 point road dog, trying to take it all down. Good luck, BB.

That's all for this week. The Irish look to avoid another sucker punch from the Cardinal in Stanford while Charlie waits his fate. Have a safe and happy holiday weekend. Christmas is nearing. For those of you interested in checking, here's a list of where the LMS funds have been distributed over the last 16 years. FYI, we hit the million dollar mark this year. Thanks to you, it works. THE ZOOKEEPER was reminded this week by one of the faithful animals that Thanksgiving isn't just a day to pig out. It's an American Holiday. Perhaps others in the world don't understand it like we do. It's the one day of the year where we are asked to give thanks for all of the blessings that we have, things we take for granted in our day to day lives. Take time today to reflect on all that we have and all that we have to give. You could be living in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER. Peace. Out.

ZK

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