The Virtual Dorm
I'VE HAD A GOOD DAY WHEN I DON'T FALL OUT OF THE CART.
-- Buddy Hackett
LMS XV WEEK TEN - 6197 OUT, 1 DQ, 431 INPosted: 2008-11-08
ONLY IN AMERICA
WHERE WE DREAM IN RED, WHITE, AND BLUE
ONLY IN AMERICA
WHERE WE DREAM AS BIG AS WE WANT TO
WE ALL GET A CHANCE
EVERYBODY GETS TO DANCE
ONLY IN AMERICA
---- K. BROOKS/ R. DUNN
THE ZOOKEEPER was slugging down more than his usual copious quantity
of the Muscatel at an above average pace late into the evening on Tuesday's
election night, even by his standards for pace. It's not that he was
celebrating any particular election victory, or that he would need an
excuse to drown his sorrows in any political loss ...
Elections don't excite THE ZOOKEEPER. He hasn't voted since back in the day when he was dating and trying to impress Annie Cooper, ever since the Voter Registration people got so persnickety about the VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER being a questionable voting address (where was ACORN when he needed them?). Some grudges just won't die easy. But as he was washing down his Tuesday night meal of moose meat sliders and continuing to work on the children's play he is writing (it's about the day that Big Bird drops F-Bombs all around Mr. Rodgers' neighborhood and Oscar the Grouch decides to take him to court over it), he was forced to notice a mood change in the remaining caged animals over something peculiar that was buzzing in the early November election night air.
Something was giving the animals hope that the LMS is a place where all things are possible. Something was giving the animals confidence that their dream of winning was alive in our time. Something was giving the animals belief that this year must be different. Something told the animals that it was their football genius that would make a difference. Something was stirring in all of the animals, young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - these remaining animals were sending a message to the the world that the cages were more than just a collection of INS and OUTS: that the cages are, and always will be, home to THE WORLD'S GREATEST FOOTBALL POOL.
It was a statement from the animals that those many who had told them for so long to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what they could achieve, could now watch as they put their hands on the arc of football genius and bent it once more towards their hopes of a better day.
He wondered what it could be that could offer them so much hope in the face of their dire prospects. What change in their lives could have stirred so much belief in their capabilities to achieve football genius this week? What inspirational source was leading them to feelings that this time would be different? What path was guiding them forward into the unknown with a certainty that this was the special moment they had been waiting for? What spirit was lifting their dreams and destroying their fears? Where was this feeling coming from, that some great force had been unleashed and given to them as the power they needed to rise beyond any week where they had ever been before?
Then he locked them into their cages and reached for another jug. Thursday night games are such a bitch to get ready.
Yes, the road ahead is still long. The climb will be steep. You may not get there in one week. But I promise you animals that some of you will get there this year. The ZOOKEEPER believes in you all. Vindicate him. Just win, baby, win. Yes you can. And now, here are this week's numbers: signed, sealed, and delivered:
6197 OUT, 1 DQ'D, 431 IN. 156 LIGHTNING BOLTS, 100 CARDINALS, 96 DOLPHINS, 50 PANTHERS, 15 J-E-T-S BRETTS BRETTS BRETTS, 12 JAGGYWIRES, 2 TEXANS (still looking for their win from week 2), and two lone wolves, 1 MIGHTY MIGHTY STEELER, 1 PATRIOT.
PICK OF THE WEEK honorable mention goes to the two lone wolves looking to take it all down this week, SCALZICHUCK on the Steelers at home against Indy, and WHALE 13 riding the Patriots at home against the Bills. But tied for top pick honors this week are the two remaining animals who are left over from WEEK TWO, the hurricane week, who must pick two winners this week. SNOWMAN has the Texans and Cardinals, and RUBY has the Texans and Chargers. Yes, another historic moment in the cages.
That's it. The world's greatest nation just voted to change power and not a shot was fired to do it. Is this a great country or what? Now, if only the Fighting Irish could wake up some echoes of old..... Peace. Out.