The Virtual Dorm
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
-- Steven Wright?
Fearless Football PredictionsPosted: 2008-09-07
Here they are! Each of these fearless predictions was made before the 2008 season started. Who will win the coveted first place prize? Certainly not the Wisconsin Whiner who wouldn't even play ..
The original challenge:
Here ye here ye, one and all.
Announcing Fox's 2nd annual ND season prediction contest.
Are you man enough to enter? .. confident in your prognostication prowess? .. not scared to go up against the preseason favorite from Kenosha (but the wiener didn't enter)?
Please send, by August 30th, a single paragraph of no more than 300 words with your prediction for the upcoming season. I'll post them for all to admire on the CZ News Site.
Come the end of the season a set of impartial judges will evaluate all the entries based on a weighted scale that includes entertainment value ("CW will clear the bench by the third game just so he can sit down"), accuracy ("they will lose badly to Mich State, lose a squeaker to USC, and win the rest of the games by an average of 4 points"), grammar and spelling ([not] "season be it good and vary happy winnings"), boldness ([not] "they will win every game in which they score more points than the other team") and just how all around good they are or should I say were. The winner will get a really amazing, yet so far undetermined, prize and will be featured on CyberZahm News!
No need to make your predictions public but just to get things started I predict a 7-5 year (WWLLWLWWWWLL) plus a loss in a 2nd tier bowl game that we probably shouldn't have been invited to.
I spent an amazing amount of time studying preseason publications, summer practice news items, and new millennium trends to arrive at this prognostication.
What do YOU think?
I predict that:
I saw Lou Holz on ESPN predict that ND will win 11. That's ELEVEN games this year. He was talking football, not basketball
He says that ND isn't a great team but will be better than 11 teams on their schedule.... He factored in that several teams are rebuilding (Purdue, MSU, Michigan) or just plain shitty like Syracuse
Lou. He da man.
Here's what my crystal ball says about ND's 2008 football fortunes--
The crystal ball is old and cracked, so it could be wrong...... ND could win them all!
First, a disclaimer: I don't know Jack Schitt about football. Now, on to my predictions:
How can anyone predict what this football team will win? They have NEVER shown any signs of consistency of success yet. Last year the team was pathetic. Didn't we rank below 100, one of the WORST teams in the country? Terrible. Are we to believe the "hype" from self-promoting magazines that tout the stars of tomorrow and ND's recruiting success? Are we to believe that freshman or even sophomores, can step in and play against big time NCAA football teams? Is Charlie Weis really that bad? And has he successfully "removed" himself from the game day stuff to let better talent handle those responsibilities?
Ok. Now my predictions:
We'll be 8-4 with 9-3 a possibility if we start 2-1. Losses will be Michigan or Michigan State or both; SC and North Carolina.
The schedule looks better for us than last year. Team chemistry will be better. Last year's team just didn't mesh; too much uncertainty as to leadership, particularly with the QB fiasco. Charlie outsmarted himself there.
The SDSU will tell us next to nothing on the upside. Running the ball consistently will again be the key, which gets back to our offensive line being the key. If they blow, we blow. If they're solid, we're solid.
Defense will be 6.5 on a scale of 1-10.
Here are my ND football predictions:
I don't usually do this sort of thing but I'll play the game this time. Here are my predictions for the season, uncontrolled for injuries, etc.
Less painful than I thought…TE
My predictions are these:
In times that we all recall and expect, we would all be predicting that ND would be undefeated rolling into USC. The schedule includes many of the typical scoundrels, but many are having rebuilding years (MICH, PURDUE, MSU, BC), just not quite as good as ND even in a good year (NC, PITT, NAVY, WASH), or are plain awful (SYR, SAN DIEGO). And no Penn State!
What a set up for a great ND squad! But here we are. Nobody knows if we will be shitty again or upgrade our play to mediocre or even good. Playing great seems out of reach. I say we will be GOOD, not great.
ND will win 8 games.
ND’s performance will not please Gabes, who will start his tirade after the MI game. FOUR LOSSES!!
Sobo will stay quiet at first, but will be willing to give Charlie another season.
Albert will blame the Clintons for anything that goes wrong
Billy P will show us a picture of Obama and Charlie together in turbans, and then accuse others of smoking weed.
ND will lose to Michigan, USC, BC and… Stanford. That will REALLY set Gabes off. Stanford!
ND will win a minor bowl game
The program gets its mojo back. Next year is gonna be better!
Also… if Obama wins I predict that the entire schedule after Nov 4 will be cancelled due to the sky falling down. This would end our season at 4-1.