The Virtual Dorm
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
-- Steven Wright?
LMS 2007 Week SeventeenPosted: 2007-12-28
Judgement Day - Looney Tune fans know the deal. This is it. The night of nights. Our date with destiny is upon us - The more erudite of our fellow animals know that the term "Eschatology" is of Greek origin and refers to doctrine from various belief systems that represent a history of inquiry into the concept of the destiny of all things...
Christian Eschatology teaches that Christ will personally judge the living and the dead to determine the eternal destiny of each. Islamic Eschatology teaches that faith alone will insure salvation. Judaic Eschatology is a little more nuanced and much more ambiguous to interpret than the majority of this reading crowd can handle, so we'll just let it suffice to say that the end goal is to end up in a good place to be, which is better than a bad place to be. Six fallen animals from WEEK SIXTEEN (especially the Bucs who's two point conversion hopes landed on their heels in the end zone last week, or perhaps J&M who's Packers got trounced by the Bears) know exactly what is meant here. Fire or ice. Either will suffice.
LMS Eschatological principles are based upon a more simple, a more temporal, and a more immediate recognition of eternal happiness, one with a distinct monetary award associated with the whole thing.
THE WORLD'S GREATEST FOOTBALL POOL will conclude season 14 this coming Sunday with 64 aspiring genius animals hoping to pass through the final fire of 17 weeks of 2007's cage challenges in hopes of attaining LMS CHAMPION status, an exclusive honor sought by thousands, known by few.
These Super Sixty-Four will soon know the destiny of all thing as their extraordinary skills are put to the challenge of fulfilling their football genius journey in heavenly, glorious fashion. Fellow animals will then be forced to recognize their superior talent. Many have claimed that this, THE WORLD'S GREATEST FOOTBALL POOL, rises above the mundane to supreme spiritual levels of prayer and worship each week. THE ZOOKEEPER doesn't know about that. He just loads and unloads the cages. Here are this week's final numbers. Numbers to feed your souls:
6137 OUT, 8 DQ'D, 64 IN. 33 BROWNS, 8 EGGLES, 7 NATIVE AMERICANS, 6 BENGALS, 2 LIGHTNING BOLTS, 2 J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS, 2 VIKINGS, and four lone wolf picks: 1 49ER, 1 DOLPHIN, 1 PACKER (from the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field), 1 TEXAN.
PICK OF THE WEEK gets tough to sort out here. Only the Chargers and Packers have double digit wins for the season, and the Jets have 3 wins and Dolphins 1! HONOR citations still are due to the four lone wolf selections attempting to hit one out of the park here: DAN THE MAN (49ers), WILO (Dolphins), FULL MOON (Packers) DB VICTORS (Texans).
FULL MOON deserves credit for still having a 4 point favorite available with the Packers (even though it is a divisional rivalry on the road), and DB VICTORS has a 6 1/2 home favorite ( of course that is against a playoff bound team with 11 wins). WILO is getting gutsy (going with the 3 point dog Dolphins with only one win to their credit this season), BUT DAN THE MAN is DA BOMB! Final week and he takes the 10 point road dog 49ers in a city where weather can be a factor against a team fighting to make the playoffs! You the man, DAN!
T-T-T-T-hat's all folks. Overture. Turn up the lights. Oh, what heights we'll hit: On with the show this it.