From willo
Subject: Conference Invitation

Welcome....you are invited to a roto-strategy conference to be held in the
near future.  Anchored by the King of Roto-prowess, it is an opportunity
for all of you to acquire keen insight on what it takes to excell at
fantasy sportleagues.  The cost of $500 per participant is minimal
recognizing the knowledge and potential intrinsic value that can be
acquired.  You need to bear of course the added costs of travel, lodging,
beverages and food.  With the extensive homework that will be mandatory you
should not plan on late evening hours.

There will be plenty of guest speakers....They include....

Mr. Andrew McDoormat...will talk about "how to lose with dignity." After
repeated losses in roto-basketball, golf, and baseball, Mr. Deeppockets
will show you how to laugh while doling out several of those new twenty
bills.  Pay close attention to his 1998 top 10 hit - 'Singing the Blues.'

Mr. Thomas Gabes will share with you strategies on 'how to smell the victory
circle' but ejacuate prematurely when the heat gets hot.  Taking time out
from his busy nightlife schedule he will contribute tips on making those
'almost' picks. Those are the ones that seem to be promising early, but
fade when it comes time to collect some $$$$. He has requested that no
cleavage be evident during his presentation as that will completely
distract the speaker.

With the aid of PP, the 'Pentium-Pay' Computer, that automatically spits
out checks to others, Professor Fox will help you mathmatically calculate
what it takes to be a winner.  Unfortunately he is still fine tuning those
winner algorithms so be cautious of everything he preaches.  It has been
rumored that his latest 'does not compute macro' occurred when his man, Mr.
Woods, failed to emerge as the expected dominant 1998 golfer.   

Mr. Geo-Rock-senseless, flying in from the moon, will divulge his picking
acumen.  It has something to do with the alignment of the sun, the moon,
and his brain.  Todate the rocks in his brain have interfered with the
synergy of the other objects causing a momentary, albeit several year,
lapse in his strategic processing.

We intend to dress up another speaker in a tie, and possibly a sportscoat.
Joining us from the hinterlands of Oregon will be none other than Mr.
Mountain-man himself.  The 'M' Man, as in moneyless, will educate you on
how to live in poverty.  He will articulate the benefits of continuous
losing.  They include neverending United Way support, fancy Salvation Army
clothing, and the joys of tent living.

And there are several others that have not been mentioned.  Please indicate
your interest in attending.  If you need more information about the other
guest speakers please note that as well.  If you want to sign up early
please send that $500 check to:

Mr. Willo
The King of Rotoness
Dollar-land, USA 77777