Well, with the draft over and April here, two things come to mind- Opening 
day and tax day.  The taxman has taken a look at what the Cyberzahm owners 
have filed in the way of rosters, and here are his findings:

Panzas -  This roster was submitted by joint owners and it appears that they 
have not adjusted to this method of computing a winning team.  OF selections 
appear to be done properly, but filling in of the rest of the roster form 
was clearly done with haste.  A/A have a large AGI (Adjusted Gross Infield) 
and they will pay dearly for that.  And their Ps will provide no tax relief. 
The marriage penalty is in full force here for A&A- they may want to 
consider filing separately in future years.  Pay the taxman.

Tamales - The taxman watches this owner closely.  Previous year's filings 
have placed him on the audit list for questionable use of short term gains 
in trading activities.  There is also concern about hiring of illegal 
aliens.  This year however, it appears that the Tamales are suffering from 
excessive early draft selection deductions.  Choosing players before the 
appropriate round in which they qualify is a costly error.  Pay the taxman.

PussJackers - The taxman would like to advise this owner to focus his real 
estate activitiy on finding a large patch of green field on which to build a 
minor league baseball stadium.  It appears that he has assembled the team to 
occupy it.  Plus there is an automatic penalty for having Al Leiter (aka, he 
who bullied my brother) on your roster.  You owe the taxman.

Red Foxes - This owner has claimed too many exemptions for Outfielders 
performing below expectations.   Low earned run income will Harang this 
team.  Investment performance will cost him more than a Penny in losses. And 
Boone is not eligible to qualify as an asset.  Consider having your 
associates hire you as a consultant in future years when the draft 
management site business takes flight.  Pay the taxman.

Mazins - The taxman advises this owner to seek professional advice in 
revising his filing of the roster form.  Excessive short term capital losses 
from junk Bonds, kidnapping ransom payments, and Lowe income, plus 
additional Medicare taxes to support many members of this team means that 
the Mazins must make additional payments to the taxman.

Expectorators -  The taxman commends this owner on proper filing of the 
first part of his roster form, Offensive Assets and Gains.  However, errors 
in calculations on the Pitching Worksheet and Inappropriate Tips means that 
the roster form must be refiled with corrections made to lines 16-24 (the 
"P" lines).  Please pay the tax man and include your late filing penalty.

Leathernuts -  This owner from year to year attempts to add to income with 
ordinary dividends.  Lack of interest is also noted.  This year is no 
exception, as such ordinary players as Tino, Biggio, Bell, and Buck will 
provide no income.  And the P staff has an excessive ERA (Everyone's 
Rejected Asses).  This owner remains in his infante tax-paying stage. Pay 
the taxman.

Ballbusters -  This owner overspends for players that are just sosa. There 
are excessive miscellaneous deductions, such as Sanders and Giambi, and 
Lines 14-15 ("Income from Catchers") was overlooked.  This small 
businessowner still suffers from expenses exceeding income.  However, the 
excessive deductions are disallowed.  Send in your payment to the taxman.

Cutters -  Ah, this team benefitted from some windfall profits in claimimg 
ARod at pick 4.  However, the taxman is skeptical of any batter with the 
name Swisher.  There are both gains and losses in the P lines, with no net 
increase in dividends.  While the owner may not have to pay much in 
additional taxes, it appears that his refund will fall far short of funds 
needed for his other non-taxable obligations this year, i.e., "the wedding".

Electric Pinstripes  -  The taxman has carefully reviewed this roster form 
and finds that there are few errors in filling out the lines.  There are 
excessive dependents however and the costs for maintaing their dependencies 
will outweigh the benefits of ownership.  Failure to read all of the 
instructions for filing will result in underpayment of estimated taxes by 
this team, excessive capital gains, and thus a large tax bill.

Hogmen  -  A tax auditor's dream.  Lots of penalties for errors in 
completing lines.  Broussard is UTterly incorrect.  Never pick Nevin. 
Chavez is the Endof this team.  This owner needs a Hope credit and an Energy 
credit.  The taxman will be setting up an appointment with you to revise 
your forms and recalculate the amount you owe.  Bring lots of cash.

Bombers -  The taxman finds that all lines were correctly entered and all 
forms have been properly submitted.  As there were no excessive deductions, 
an EZform for a refund is accepted and payment will be made to your account.

All other owners, please send your taxes you owe to The Taxman, c/o Bombers 
Management, Cyberzahm Fantasy Baseball League.

Sincerely,

The Taxman